Panthertown Valley to be renamed Beartown Valley; Entry fee to be charged.

Panthertown Valley to be renamed Beartown Valley; Entry fee to be charged.

April 1, 2018 (Happy April Fool’s Day)

Cashiers, NC – Panthertown Valley is designated by the North Carolina Wildlife Resource Commission as part of the Panthertown-Bonas Defeat Bear Sanctuary. Bear hunting is prohibited anywhere in Panthertown.

Due to a significant increase in black bear (Ursus americanus) encounters in Panthertown Valley over the past several years, and as a result of intense market research following an extensive public comment period, on Friday the U.S. Forest Service District Ranger Mike Wilkins and Forest Supervisor Gifford Pinchot announced they have officially authorized renaming this popular back country recreation area.

“When was the last time anyone saw an actual panther in Panthertown Valley”, Wilkins asked. This question comes up often from visitors to the valley. “It’s been a hot minute. But, there are plenty of big and hungry bears living there instead”, said someone of authority who wished to remain anonymous. “The bears have most likely eaten all of the remaining panthers, or at least scared them away.” Beginning July 1, a user entry fee of $1 per visitor will be charged to help offset the costs of renaming the valley.

District Ranger Mike Wilkins was overheard discussing the situation with North Carolina Wildlife Resource Commission officers. “We really should rename this back country area to better reflect the wildlife that inhabit its boundaries.” Earlier this year the name Trouttown Valley was recommended by anglers, but due to the word having two Ts back to back, they decided against it. “Beartown has a much better ring to it”, said Wilkins, “and there is only one letter T in that name.” Forest Supervisor Gifford Pinchot reported that the name Squirreltown Valley was also suggested and was under consideration for about a minute.

The North Carolina Forest Supervisor has indicated people are confused about the name Panthertown. The bears have been petitioning for a name change for as long as she can remember. All signs and maps of the area will be adjusted starting today to reflect the new name. References to the name Panthertown Valley will be scrubbed from the internet. Any remaining panthers in the valley will be batter dipped and served with sweet tea and a side of ranch dressing. And now, back to your regularly scheduled news.

For actual, honest to goodness, true current information about bear activity from U.S. Forest Service: Bear activity in Beartown Valley

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