Panthertown Valley to be offered as NFT Crypto Currency, uploaded to Virtual Metaverse. IPO to follow.

Panthertown Valley to be uploaded to Virtual Metaverse. Will be offered as an NFT cryptocurrency blockchain token. IPO to follow.

CASHIERS, NC – Big changes are coming to the forests of western North Carolina this year. Real estate in the Panthertown Valley area of Nantahala National Forest is about to become a hot digital commodity. 

Cryptocurrency investors took notice this week as the U.S. Forest Service announced Panthertown Valley would be converted into non-fungible tokens, or NFTs, and added to the digital inventory of Crypto Recreation, a newly formed publicly traded company and pastime invented by the fine folks at Absurdia Prospectus Corporation

An NFT is a digital asset that represents real-world objects like art, music, sports, in-game items, and videos. They are bought and sold online, and they are generally encoded with the same underlying authenticating certificates created by blockchain technology that underlies cryptocurrency.

Jackson County Tourism Development Authority Vice-Director Rick Woolybeard commented, “It’s the wave of the future. No need to put on your boots or deal with packing the car or swatting mosquitoes, now you don’t even need to leave your home to visit Panthertown.”

Waterfalls and overlooks in Panthertown will be sold to the highest virtual bidders in an online auction set to take place in May. The public land will be divided up into 1/16 acre digital tokens and distributed as virtual currency, similar to Bitcoin.

U.S. Forest Service staff has been preparing for the virtual sale since late last year. Nantahala District Ranger Troy “Atta Boy” Waskey shared his excitement for the changes, “Who needs to hike when you can hold Panthertown in your digital wallet?”

Upon announcement of the sale, local crypto investors formed the Bored Panther Yacht Club and went fishing for NFT trout on the virtual Fly Fishing trail.

The massive amount of electricity required to convert the valley into an NFT crypto Blockchain token will be generated with a turbine installed at Wilderness Falls. Elon Musk was rumored to be involved with the project. U.S. Forest Service personnel could not confirm, however a small fleet of Tesla Cybertrucks was seen leaving the Cold Mountain Gap entrance to Panthertown on Friday.

Bearish investors and American black bears will be given priority in the sale, while virtual bears will be safe from being hunted. North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission had no comment.

News at 11.

Happy first day of April, y’all!

Friends of Panthertown is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. All donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent allowable by law. Please consider giving generously towards the conservation and stewardship of this special place. More info is available at


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